Tag: acceptance

How To Be A Better Parent

So I have a brand new vlog! My first vlog ever. It is called LeeSun, Truth Teller.

I began last Thursday, and so far have posted

1 How To Tell If Art Is Good
2 The Truth About Being Good Looking
3 How To Be A Better Parent

This vlogging business is a steep learning curve. At first I was horrified to see myself on video. But here I am, 3 days in, and I am actually starting to get used to it! Anyway, here is my post from today. And here is to exploring truth in this lovely way, and seeing what there is to discover!

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Acts of Kindness, Launching People, Paloma Faith, and Living Large


So … a couple of weeks ago, I found out about a competition being run by Samsung called “Launching People”. I thought, “Do I want to be launched?” My answer was a resounding, “YES!” The only catch was, the deadline was a day away. So I cleared my day’s schedule, and buckled down to the serious business of putting together a video all about me, in the hopes that Paloma Faith would choose me (to mentor and LAUNCH) out of the hundreds of entries.

I didn’t think twice. I just knew I had to do this. I skipped group therapy (which I’ve been going to for nearly 2 years, and which is a big deal for me!) and I also skipped my weekly counselling post-grad lecture and skills session at Leeds Met (also a big deal for me!). I spent my precious time mainly finding video editing software and figuring out how to use it via Youtube tutorials. Then I cut up bits of a video that my amazing, beautiful, talented friends Aurora and Lucy did for me awhile ago, and cut up bits of my songs from my album Prime, recorded a voiceover and voila! The above 2 minute video was born.

It was one of those moments / events / days that felt so strongly guided by the hand of destiny, I felt so certain that OF COURSE I’d be chosen for this, it really was a shock when I wasn’t contacted the following week to be invited to participate in the Launching People mentorship thingy. “How strange,” I thought. “So what was that all about?!” I have no idea. But now I’ve got this video which gives a pretty clear statement about my creative ethos and what I’m about.

I’m still scratching my head (not literally). Well, as my little boy might say, at least I made a Youtube video! 🙂

Conclusion: Kindness and self-belief. You need both. Or perhaps another way to look at it is, love others and love yourself, and everything else shall follow …

I hope you enjoy it!

 

Good-bye, old friend.

Well, tonight I learned something both disturbing and saddening.

I learned that a friend whom I’ve been out of touch with for the past year and a half, has actually been actively cutting me out of her life this whole time, as she is full of judgement for me and how I live my life.

I had no idea.

I emailed her yesterday to invite her to the wedding, and she emailed me back.

She didn’t ask me how I was doing. She wasn’t interested in knowing anything about me.

But she had quite a lot to say! She let loose a long ferocious series judgments, with condemnation and anger.

All this time, these past 18 months, I thought we were just busy with our lives, and out of touch due to her getting married and moving away from Leeds. I thought she had shut down her Facebook account as I couldn’t contact her on FB any more. It never occurred to me that she was cutting me out deliberately. I hadn’t wronged her in any way.

The message was one-sided, all about why my lifestyle and choices displease and offend her.

Yet she knows nothing about me, my life, what I think, what I feel, what I’m going through. She never asked, and if I were to offer, she wouldn’t listen.

Yet despite her ignorance about me, she saw fit to send me this lengthy diatribe about how I am going against the will of God Her/Himself.

It seems that my (former) friend is an expert on God’s will in my life. Quite amazing, really.

She proved to me in her message that God was on her side, and definitely not happy with me.

Her proof involved a bit of picking-and-choosing from Scripture.

Apparently, when one quotes the Bible, this makes one an expert on the specifics of God’s will for someone else’s life.

It’s quite phenomenal.

I wonder what Jesus would think of that?

Her message to me ended with the comment, “God’s plan is always the best but you have to give up control and commit to that path.” I actually agree with that, with a couple of small adjustments. I would change it to, “God’s plan is always the best so you have to give up attempting to control things (and others) and seek that path.”

Do I know God’s plan for me? Do I know God’s plan beyond what is broadly apparent: to live, to grow, to die, to be?

Do I know what God’s plan involves for me, specifically, from day to day, moment to moment?

I couldn’t say, specifically. The specifics change all the time. But the bigger things involved are: A lot of listening. A lot of being. A lot of living. A lot of dying.

As far as my (former) friend and I are concerned, I am glad our paths crossed and we walked together for awhile. But for the time being at least, our journeys have diverged.

Good-bye, old friend. I shall miss you.